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Local shawarma in Russia, reviewed

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Long story short: I recently had to relocate far away from home by car, which presented me a great opportunity to visit a few Russian cities and try their local shawarma. Here's what came out of it.

It's a piece of fucking garbage. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't disgusting to eat it, and it didn't look that unappealing. As a piece of food, it was a totally acceptable thing you could eat to get some calories. But as a shawarma, or in other words, a piece of art, it was a fucking dumpster fire. This taste was definitely worse than anything I've tried yet with the only exception being that one grill place in Krasnodar Krai. So in the end, there's only conclusion I can make: buying a shawarma here is like going to a school canteen for your birthday party. Don't fucking do it.

Rating: 1 star out of 3 Bad

Regular high-quality shawarma comparable to an expensive one in my city. I was actually pleasantly surprised by it. Can recommend, I guess?

Rating: 3 stars out of 3 Outstanding

This shawarma claimed to be Syrian. The cook probably was Syrian, but I'm not sure if I can say that about the shawarma itself. It was... okay? The one I tried yesterday was heaven compared to this one, but it was also miles ahead of the one from Omsk. I'd say it's about of the same quality as, like, a mediocre shawarma from my city. The same quality I'd expect from picking a random eatery I've never been to.

Rating: 2 stars out of 3 Good

Okay, this was really fucking weird. The place I bought it at is called Big Shawarma. The name didn't lie; it was indeed big. And I don't mean big as in falls apart in your hands, but actually big and manageable. It had a good selection of ingredients, including my favorite Korean carrot salad, and 3 sauces. As an icing on the cake, it was also masterfully assembled. And yet, despite all of that, it tastes like shit. I don't know how it's even possible. The only explanation I can find to it is that they used the cheapest ingredients or something. Anyway, it still tastes better than the one from Omsk, but can't really match the one from Ufa.

Rating: 1 star out of 3 Bad

Just pretend I put the same review as for the one from Ufa. It's the same shit.

Rating: 2 stars out of 3 Good