Cookbook

A collection of family recipes.

I was never taught how to cook, so I'm trying to figure everything out on my own.

• 150 g of flour
• 100 g of warm water
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of salt
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of sugar
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of dry yeast
• Vegetable oil for greasing

1. Mix the flour with the salt, the sugar, and the yeast.
2. Mix the water in with a spoon.
3. Stretch and fold the dough a few times until it's sort of uniform. It will be sticky, but don't let it stop you.
4. Let the dough rest for an hour or two, stretching and folding it every half an hour. It should get more uniform and less sticky with each iteration.
5. Grease the dough with vegetable oil.

• 2 tablespoons of tomato paste
• 1 tablespoon of water

1. Dilute the tomato paste with the water.
2. Mix until uniform.

• Dough you made previously
• Sauce you made previously
• 75 g of sulguni cheese
• 27.5 cm pizza screen

1. Preheat the oven as hot as possible for as long as necessary. My mini oven goes up to 280°C, and it takes 20 minutes for it to do so.
2. Shred the cheese.
3. Stretch the dough into a circular shape. If you have an appropriate size frying pan, use it as a support.
4. Put the dough onto the pizza screen. Make sure not to fuck it up while lifting.
5. Put the pizza screen onto the lowest rack.
6. Bake with both heating elements on and convection on at the hottest temperature until the dough is cooked but not browned. It takes 3 minutes in my oven.
7. Take the crust out of the oven.
8. Spread the sauce on top.
9. Cover with cheese. Make sure to cover the edges well.
10. Bake once again with the same settings until the cheese is browned. It takes 4 minutes in my oven.
11. Leave the pizza on the screen for a few minutes after taking it out to let it cool down.

• Sugar speeds up the browning of the crust on the outside without affecting the inside. You can omit it and bake for a bit longer, but you'll risk turning the crust into a cracker.
• Vegetable oil prevents the crust from sticking and adds flavor to it. Without oil, the pizza will taste more like a flatbread.
• Supposedly, fermenting the dough overnight in the fridge makes it better. But let's be real — if you're hungry, you ain't gonna do it.
• Using premade tomato sauce is not that bad, but it won't taste nearly as umami. However, whatever you do, do not use ketchup.
• You can also use canned tomatoes instead of tomato paste if you actually have something to blend them with. Or if you can tolerate chunks of tomatoes, I guess.
• If you put too much water in the sauce, it'll make the top of the crust damp, making it taste almost like raw dough. Don't do it.
• Obviously, you can use low moisture mozzarella instead of sulguni. I can't because it costs an arm and a leg where I live and it's never labeled as low moisture/fresh.
• A pizza screen prevents the bottom of the crust from getting soft due to the lack of air flow. A pizza stone does it by being really hot, effectively frying the crust.
• You can also bake directly on an oven rack if you're really brave.
• If you decide to add more toppings, go light on them. Don't turn a pizza into a salad.
• If you don't prebake the crust, it'll still be soft by the time the cheese is done. You'll also potentially risk underbaking it on the top.
• Convection makes the browning more uniform and prevents burned/undercooked spots from appearing.
• Not leaving the pizza on the screen to cool down is a bad idea because it'll get wet on the bottom.

• Lavash
• 1 tablespoon of barbecue sauce
• 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise
• 125 g of breaded chicken tenders
• 125 g of Korean carrot salad

1. Take a lavash and align it in a way that allows the insides to be firmly wrapped around by a thick enough layer of it.
2. Add the 2 sauces and evenly spread them around the lavash.
3. Align the rest of the ingredients in a 2 row striped pattern.
4. Wrap the lavash.
5. Heat up as necessary.

• 200 g of flour
• 100 g of warm water
• 1 teaspoon of dry yeast
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of salt

1. Mix the flour with the salt and the yeast.
2. Mix the water in and knead it until it's uniform.
3. Let the dough rest for at least half an hour.
4. Make two 5 mm thick discs out of the dough.
5. Fry both sides of each disc with no oil for 1-2 minutes. I recommend using medium heat.
6. Serve as-is or with sauce.

Not a chef by any means but she does have some hidden gems.

• 2 medium apples (350 g)
• 300 g of flour
• 250 g of milk whey or kefir
• 225 g of sugar
• 100 g of vegetable oil for the dough
• 2 eggs
• 10 g of baking powder
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of salt
• Vegetable oil for baking

1. Mix the eggs, the salt, the baking powder, the sugar, the vegetable oil, and the whey.
2. Slowly add the flour to the dough while thoroughly stirring it. The result should be semi-liquid and look almost like condensed milk.
3. Do not peel the apples. The skin must stay on. Instead, chop them into quarters and remove the seeds.
4. Chop the apples into 1 cm cubes.
5. Thoroughly mix the apples with the dough.
6. Preheat the oven to 180°C.
7. Oil a baking tray. You can also use baking paper if you have it.
8. Spread the dough uniformly across the baking tray.
9. Put the baking tray in the middle of the oven.
10. Bake with both heating elements on and convection on at 180°C for 25 minutes.
11. Use a toothpick to see if the pie has baked on the inside and bake for a bit longer if it hasn't.

• 100 g of cookies
• 100 g of butter
• 50 g of sugar
• 25 g of unsweetened cocoa powder

1. Heat up the butter so it melts.
2. Mix the molten butter with the sugar and the cocoa.
3. Heat up the butter once more to let the sugar melt.
4. Crack the cookies into small pieces. Make sure the pieces are actually small.
5. Mix the butter with the cookies.
6. Form a sausage out of the mix.
7. Put the sausage in the freezer for a couple of hours.

• 1/4 of a really small cabbage (250 g)
• 1 medium carrot (125 g)
• 1/4 of a medium daikon (125 g)
• 1 clove of garlic
• 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil
• 1/2 of a tablespoon of vinegar
• 1 teaspoon of adjika
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1 teaspoon of sugar

1. Grate the carrot, the daikon, and the garlic.
2. Chop the cabbage so it ends up about the same thickness as the carrot.
3. Mix the vegetable oil with the adjika.
4. Microwave the oil until it boils.
5. Add the vinegar and the garlic to the oil.
6. Mix the cabbage, the carrot, and the daikon.
7. Cover the vegetables with the oil.
8. Add the salt and the sugar.
9. Squeeze the living shit out of the vegetables.
10. Let it ferment in the fridge for a couple of hours.

• 250 g of canned peas
• 6 eggs
• 2 medium potatoes (300 g)
• 4 sausages or 200 g of bologna sausage
• 1 medium carrot (125 g)
• 150 g of mayonnaise

Note: the peas are the most important ingredient. They'll either make or break your salad. Make absolutely sure they're soft. If you're in Russia, I recommend either Global Village or Bonduelle.

1. Hard boil the eggs for 15 minutes.
2. Boil the potatoes and the carrot on medium heat for 30 minutes. Make sure they're soft at the end. You may also peel them afterwards instead of beforehand.
3. Chop the sausages, the potatoes, and the carrot into cubes about the same size as a pea.
4. Mix everything together.

• 8 medium potatoes (1.2 kg)
• 800 g of pork fillet
• 1 medium carrot (125 g)
• 1 medium onion (100 g)
• 100 g of mayonnaise
• 4 tablespoons of soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon of salt
• 1 teaspoon of adjika
• 1 teaspoon of khmeli suneli
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of black pepper

1. Defrost the pork if necessary.
2. Slice the pork into 1 cm thick chunks and tenderize if necessary.
3. Marinade the pork in soy sauce and adjika for a couple of hours.
4. Chop the onion into 5 mm wide cubes.
5. Slice the potatoes and the carrot into 5 mm thick circles.
6. Mix the potatoes with the onion, the carrot, the khmeli suneli, the pepper, and the mayonnaise.
7. Lay the pork onto a baking tray so it covers the whole thing.
8. Put the potatoes on top and spread them around.
9. Put the baking tray in the middle of the oven.
10. Bake with both heating elements on and convection off at 180°C for 75 minutes. There's no need to preheat the oven.
11. Make sure the potatoes are soft enough and bake for a bit longer if they aren't.

She always cooks banger food.

• 250 g of pork bones or pork ribs
• 2 kg of water
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of salt
• 4 medium potatoes (600 g)
• 2 medium carrots (250 g)
• 1/4 of a really small cabbage (250 g)
• 1 small beetroot (100 g)
• 1/2 of a medium onion (50 g)
• Vegetable oil for frying

1. Put the salt, the pork bones, and the water into a boiling pan.
2. Bring the water to a boil on high heat.
3. Switch to medium heat and close the lid while leaving it a tiny bit open.
4. Wait for 30 miniutes.
5. Purify the broth.
6. Grate the carrots, the beetroot, and the onion.
7. Chop the cabbage into small pieces.
8. Chop the potatoes into 1 cm wide stick-shaped pieces crosswise.
9. Fry the carrots, the beetroot, and the onion on medium-low heat with oil for 15 minutes.
10. Mix the fried vegetables, the potatoes, and the cabbage with the broth.
11. Bring the broth to a boil again.
12. Switch to low heat and close the lid completely.
13. Wait for 1.5 hours.
14. Serve as-is or with mayonnaise.

Note: the final product should be orange and not red.

• 125 g of flour
• 250 g of milk
• 1 egg
• 1.5 tablespoons of sugar
• 1/4 of a teaspoon of salt
• Vegetable oil for frying

1. Mix the egg, the salt, the sugar, and the milk.
2. Slowly add flour while thoroughly stirring it.
3. Oil a frying pan with vegetable oil using a small cloth or a napkin.
4. Heat up the pan. Use medium heat so pancakes don't start frying too quickly.
5. Use a ladle to pour the batter onto the pan in a uniform 2 mm thick layer. If you struggle with flipping them, pour only 1/3 of a ladle to make smaller pancakes which are easier to flip.
6. From time to time, use a knife to slightly lift the pancake and see if it's cooked. It shouldn't take more than a minute.
7. Use a knife or, if you can't, a spatula to flip the pancake. The other side is usually ready much faster than the first.
8. Serve with condensed milk or strawberry jam.

She managed to nail at least one dish.

• 250 g of minced pork
• 1/4 of a teaspoon of salt
• 1/4 of a teaspoon of black pepper

1. Defrost the pork if necessary.
2. Add the spices to the pork.
3. Knead the pork to spread the spices uniformly.

• 375 g of flour
• 125 g of water
• 1 egg
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of salt

1. Mix the egg with the salt and freshly boiled water.
2. Slowly add flour while thoroughly stirring it.
3. Start kneading the dough after it becomes stable enough.
4. When the dough is ready, let it rest for a few minutes.

• Meat you made previously
• Dough you made previously

1. Make a sausage out of the dough 3 cm in diameter.
2. Slice the sausage into 1.5 cm thick pieces. This should give you about 16 pieces out of 250 g of dough.
3. Repeat the following for every piece:
   1. Make a sphere out of it.
   2. Flatten it into a circle. It should be 8 cm in diameter.
   3. Take some minced meat using a fork.
   4. Form a sphere out of the meat. It should be 2.5 cm in diameter.
   5. Put the sphere in the middle of the circle.
   6. Make a semicircle by folding one the circle's halves onto the other. Make sure they stick well to each other.
   7. Grab the 2 sharp ends of the semicircle and stick them to each other near the flat side of the semicircle.
   8. Put the pelmen onto something like a board, so all of them form a grid.

• Pelmeni you made previously
• Water

1. Take the pelmeni out of the freezer if necessary. I don't recommend cooking more than 20 per person.
2. Fill half of a boiling pan with water.
3. Put the pan on high heat and let the water boil.
4. Slowly put each pelmen one by one into the water.
5. Stir them so they don't stick and close the lid.
6. Wait until the water starts boiling again.
7. Switch to medium-low heat and open the lid a tiny bit. Make sure the water keeps boiling but doesn't make its way out of the pan.
8. Wait for 10 minutes.
9. Drain the pelmeni.
10. Serve with sour cream or butter. I prefer sprinkling them with black or red pepper instead.

You probably don't even need a recipe for these, but if you do, here they are.

• 200 g of buckwheat
• 300 g of freshly boiled water
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of salt
• 20 g of margarine

1. Wash the buckwheat with tap water in a food strainer.
2. Mix with the salt and the freshly boiled water.
3. Microwave for 15 minutes on medium power.
4. Add the margarine and wait until it melts.
5. Mix everything together.

• 2 or 3 eggs
• A pinch of salt
• Enough water to cover the eggs

1. Put the salt and the eggs in a boiling pain.
2. Cover with water.
3. Bring the water to a boil on high heat.
4. Turn off the heat completely.
5. Wait for 10 minutes.
6. Drain the hot water and replace it with cold water.
7. Wait until the eggs cool down.

• 200 g of macaroni, preferably rotini
• Enough freshly boiled water to cover the macaroni
• 1/2 of a teaspoon of salt
• 75 g of any cheese you can afford

1. Cover the macaroni with the freshly boiled water and add the salt.
2. Mix everything together so the macaroni don't stick to each other.
3. Microwave on high power for 10 minutes.
4. While it's getting microwaved, shred the cheese.
5. Drain the macaroni with a colander.
6. Transfer the macaroni back in layers, covering each one with a layer of cheese, so there's less cheese clumping. Fight the urge to use your hands for that — use a spoon.
7. Mix everything together.

• Bread
• Salami
• Cheese

1. Take 1 slice of bread.
2. Put thinly sliced salami on the bread.
3. Put thinly sliced cheese on the salami.
4. Microwave until the cheese melts.

• 3 medium potatoes (450 g)
• Enough cold water to cover the potatoes
• 1/4 of a teaspoon of salt
• 20 g of margarine

1. Chop the potatoes into quarters.
2. Cover with the water.
3. Bring the water to a boil on high heat.
4. Switch to medium heat and close the lid while leaving it a tiny bit open.
5. Wait for 30 minutes.
6. Drain the potatoes.
7. Add the salt and the margarine. If you don't add the salt, you'll crave it while eating.
8. Mash with a potato masher or, if you don't have one, with a fork.

• Bag of ramen
• Freshly boiled water

1. The ramen will most likely be too large to fit in the bowl, so break it into quarters right away before pulling it out of the bag. There's no need to use much force — just push in the middle with thumbs while using the rest of the fingers to hold the sides.
2. Throw away the dry vegetable bag. They won't cook through anyway.
3. Add the broth powder to the noodles.
4. Cover the noodles with the freshly boiled water.
5. Cover the bowl with a boiling pan lid or a spare plate.
6. Wait for 7.5 minutes.
7. Stir the noodles, especially if they barely fit in the bowl. You don't want to find out that the top layer is still firm because it wasn't covered in water completely.
8. Wait for 7.5 minutes more.