The Room (2003)
Date: 2020-04-10
Yeah, it kinda sucked. There's barely any plot and the characters are empty, but that isn't the biggest problem, and the acting isn't either... The sex scenes. Yes, too many of them. There's literally like 2 in the first 20 minutes of the movie. It's so fucking annoying, and the rest of the scenes being extremely awkward doesn't help. I don't know, I didn't enjoy this one.
2001: A Space Oddysey
Date: 2020-05-04
It's unbelievably amazing, and I don't know how it was possible to make it back in 1968. Everything about this movie just blows my mind - the soundtrack is definitely among the best I've ever heard, the visual effects look great even by this day, and the plot is so pleasant despite being surreal and barely understandable. The acting and the way the whole thing is composed are quite remarkable for me too.
Blade Runner
Date: 2020-05-06
This was the second time I've seen a cyberpunk movie (if we don't count The Matrix), and, compared to Akira, the atmosphere in this one isn't that creepy but still quite enjoyable. I think a little bit more violence would help. The music is interesting, and the visual effects look pretty damn good for 1982, but I think it was digitally remastered in some places, and it kinda stands out. I watched The Final Cut, and it looks like the cuts have significant differences between each other. I was somewhat confused about the ending, but, looking at the original one, it's for the better.
Zootopia
Date: 2020-07-07
While being focused on the serious topic of discrimination, the thing tries to be funny by inserting as many jokes and puns as humanly possible. I think it succeeds.
Total Recall
Date: 2020-07-07
It's a bloody mess with some deep sci-fi and a nice ending. Just as I like. Visually, I think, it's pretty impressive, and the plot is pretty clever, but still perfectly understandable.
Pulp Fiction
Date: 2020-07-11
The whole movie is basically a very long dialog, which I'm not a particularly big fan of, but the shit did hit hard closer to the end. The music and the acting were great for the whole time though.
Moana
Date: 2020-07-22
If I knew that this movie is basically a musical, I wouldn't even watch it, but it was really good. The Polynesian aesthetics fit pretty well, which is amplified by an amazing soundtrack, and the jokes even work.
Interstellar
Date: 2020-07-23
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Even though I absolutely expected this movie to be perfect, I didn't expect it to hit so hard. It's completely flawless in every aspect, and it made me more emotional than anything I've ever seen before. Instant favorite.
- Caused post-anime depression syndrome
Toy Story
Date: 2020-08-03
Not bad for the first fully CGI animated film. Some things, of course, are rough around the edges, but the whole thing overall is pretty funny and has a lot of detail.
I Am Here.... Now
Date: 2020-08-06
While the plot is ridiculous and the whole thing feels like a crappy commercial rather than a movie, compared to, for example, The Room, the whole thing is, for the most part, watchable.
Pass Thru
Date: 2020-08-14
People getting into trouble at the same time as an alien demigod arrives on Earth? I wonder where I've seen that before.
Inside Out
Date: 2020-08-27
Haha, relatable :)
Seriously, though, what a great movie. Not only it's wonderfully made and has a nice amount of detail, it also manages to make me genuinely happy, which not many movies can do.
Another Gay Movie
Date: 2020-09-10
This movie managed to make me genuinely laugh throughout the whole thing, which I kinda didn't expect. Also the soundtrack is kinda cool.
Incredibles 2
Date: 2020-09-18
I don't remember the original, but I think it was better.
Raya and the Last Dragon
Date: 2021-03-05
Overall, it's a pretty good princess movie. The dragons look cute and the women are strong, which I like. The world it's set in is nothing out of ordinary but still manages to be engaging. I think it'd look cool in a video game or a TV show. The whole thing ends on an emotional moment, but it could me more dramatic to fit my tastes.
Tom & Jerry (2021)
Date: 2021-03-06
I wasn't as bad as I expected but still not good enough. The film tries to balance between the original story and the Tom and Jerry clusterfuck we all know and love since childhood but fails miserably - there's just not enough Tom and Jerry. The story itself may not be the best and may be cringy and unfunny in some parts, but it could be much worse. Another thing to mention here is the visuals. Even though cartoony animals in a realistic world don't look the best, at least it's not as bad as it could've been if they went for a completely realistic approach.
Nobody (2021)
Date: 2021-03-23
It's awesome. I came with high expectations and was more than satisfied. The idea of a movie where the good guy gets plain revenge on the bad guy doesn't sound too good on paper, but oh boy, it was executed perfectly. The whole story is pretty interesting to watch unfold, which is additionally fuelled by nice acting. The main part of the movie, the scene where the main character slaughters dozens of bad guys, was also executed pretty well. The violence level is just about what I like, i.e. really fucking high. It was really satisfying to watch so many people die.
One interesting thing about the movie is that it features Russian characters actually speaking Russian, meaning not dubbed. It does sound a bit out of place but is still satisfying to hear.
This cinema visit wasn't quite ordinary. First, there were barely any people (like, 6 of them without me), which is sort of strange because I thought this movie was pretty big. Second, a family was watching the movie there with their 5-year-old daughter. What the fuck? Don't they think this movie is maybe a little too violent for her? Also this baby asshole made stupid comments on the movie that made absolutely no fucking sense. I mean what can you even expect from a child? In any case, she shut the fuck up at some point, so thank God.
Wrath of Man
Date: 2021-04-27
The best I can describe this film is "uninspiring." I'd probably say that the ending is pretty good, relatively speaking, but the movie overall is meh. The plot has some interesting ideas, but it feels like the movie isn't even trying to be epic. There's barely any swearing, and even though the movie succeeds at killing as many side-characters as possible, the level of violence is just too low. And in addition to all of that, it's pretty boring. Overall, I'm disappointed because the movie looks like it wants to be good but isn't trying hard enough.
Voyagers
Date: 2021-05-01
Not gay enough.
Okay, I'm just kidding. The movie is actually not that bad. The basic idea of the whole story is that humans are easily manipulative, and I kinda like it. The implementation of this idea is good enough, I guess. The movie is thrilling in some moments, but it isn't too bizarre. The same goes to pretty much the whole thing - the acting, the scenes, the aesthetics all get a passing grade from me, no more. Still, I wouldn't say I'm disappointed because it could do more because I didn't expect much. What I however have a little complaint about is the ending. It's not like it doesn't fit or is unsatisfying, it's just too safe and sterile. What I really wanted this film to show me is people murdering each other and things exploding, but instead I got a regular mediocre happy ending. I guess it follows the same rule as the rest of the movie. But in any case, I still enjoyed this movie overall somehow.
Groundhog Day
Date: 2021-05-21
On the first glace, it's regular cheesy romantic comedy held together by simple sci-fi'ish concept but it still manages to somehow deliver. One of the things I like about it is how American it feels. There aren't any particular elements like flags hanging everywhere, but the vibe is still there and it feels real nice. Another thing is that the progression of events goes exactly like you'd expect but it doesn't become boring. It's a great pleasure to watch the main character go from insanity to making the best out of his unlimited time, which I guess anyone in his place would do. And as a cherry at top of this cake, the film features great acting and nice cinematography. Overall, it's a great watch.
A Quiet Place
Date: 2021-06-14
While I fully support the interesting idea of a film where no one talks, I can't say it's perfect. The major problem with the movie is that it doesn't contribute enough exciting story to pass as a great standalone film. In other words, it feels like it just needs to have a sequel, and it seems like does. And don't get me wrong, it's absolutely not because of the ending, which is, by the way, amazing. Another thing I have troubles with is the backstory. Specifically, the weakness of the monsters, which is revealed at the end of the movie, is just ridiculous. I mean it's not bad writing-wise, meaning it's a great opportunity for much-needed sequels, but come on, there's absolutely no fucking way that people wouldn't have been able to find such a weakness have these monsters arrived on our planet. While people are indeed stupid, they're not this stupid.
Gayn***ers From Outer Space
Date: 2021-07-06
Well, it's an interesting shitty movie. On one hand, it's extremely low quality. For example, the quality of the picture is even lower than in the Green Elephant - the resolution is extremely low and, apart from the ending, the movie is shot in black and white. The locations and props feel cheap and create an atmosphere on someone shooting with a non-existent budget. However, on the other hand, the movie is quite far from being unwatchable, and I'd probably say it's even funny. The absurdity of the dialogue and the actions of the characters only play in the movie's favor and improve the watching experience. Thus, despite the overall crappiness of the film, I can still recommend you to watch it.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage
Date: 2021-10-03
I don't quite remember the original, but I don't think this is a bad sequel. The main thing I like about the first movie, the humor, does still work pretty good. I'd say the acting of the main character is also not bad. However, the movie is far away from being perfect. The main thing I'm unhappy about is that there's not enough action and dramatic tension. It's not like I expected it in the first place, but I'm still kinda disappointed. The CGI in this movie is not quite cutting edge, but perhaps it just looks this way to me and isn't actually that bad. And of course, the story. It isn't that bad but still feels like it was made out of thin air. I really hope there isn't going to be the third movie in the series because if there will be, it will actually suck. But still, despite all of that, I enjoyed this film. I guess I just like stupid movies about strong guys fighting. If you're like me, I guess you'll enjoy it too.
The Truman Show
Date: 2021-10-19
My friend told me I might enjoy watching this film if I didn't know anything about it and, if I'm not misremembering, that I'd like how it ends. I watched it, and I have no idea what's so special about the ending. It's absolutely predictable and unsurprising. I mean, for crying out loud, they didn't even use it as an opportunity to insert an F-bomb. If they did, that'd automatically redeem the whole movie. So I don't know, maybe my friend meant a different film called "The Truman Show."
The movie itself, meanwhile, is just as disappointing. I guess it's shot well and looks like a good effort, but there's just one little thing wrong about it. The movie just fucking spoils itself. Yes, I'm not kidding. As early as 20 minutes into the film, you already know what's gonna happen in the end. And it doesn't even stop at few spoilers. The movie gradually spoils itself more and more the further you watch it. By the third quarter of the film, you're already know everything about the plot even though you haven't finished it. And all of this could be fixed just by cutting spoiler parts out of the whole thing. It wouldn't be quite the same vibe, but I'd rather watch a thriller that's a bit more interesting. So yeah, overall I'm not a big fan of this movie, but I can't say I absolutely didn't enjoy it.
Eternals
Date: 2021-11-11
Lackluster.
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
Date: 2021-12-03
Before watching this movie, I had seen a few reviews of it, and it seemed like a pretty badass and cool film. Unfortunately, it disappointed me. While there are scenes with extreme violence, and they're well-made with awesome practical effects, the whole thing feels like a Neil Breen movie. And by that I mean that it's really fucking boring with great scenes spaced out by filler crap that tells us the plot, which in this case is barely existent. Though, it's at least bearable to watch, and the good scenes redeem the whole thing. In conclusion, this film is not that great, but I still recommend you to watch it.
Encanto
Date: 2021-12-16
Meh.
Really tho, I have no idea what to say about this movie. It was okay, I guess, but nothing impressed me. There were too many musical scenes, and they didn't even have balls to make a sad ending. In other words, it's a good film, but it's so good that it's boring.
The Last Warrior: A Messenger of Darkness
Date: 2021-12-31
Wow, Disney made a bad movie? What a surprise. I wonder if it has something to do with a certain cinema foundation working on it. In any case, the film sucks. It's so bland and boring that it was neither inspiring nor cringeworthy. In fact, I'd rather watch a Neil Breen movie because it's at least unusual. The film does try to be funny but unfortunately fails miserably. I laughed exactly once despite the whole movie being one big joke.
The worst thing with this movie by far is the main villain. She's just so unconvincing. Volk from Nu Pogodi is a scarier villain compared to her. It feels almost like they hired a random grandma to play the antagonist and told her to just read the lines. The ending was underwhelming to say the least. It was incredibly obvious what was going to happen. They also almost pulled off a bittersweet ending but chickened out and made a bittershit one instead. Pathetic.
And you know what's even worse about this film? It's the third movie in the trilogy. If the final film is so bad, I can't even imagine how awful the rest are.
The Matrix Resurrections
Date: 2022-01-05
Well, the movie sucks. Don't get me wrong, the film by itself is not that bad, but it's a huge disappointment compared to the original trilogy.
The film itself feels like a high-budget professionally made masterclass piece of shit. The actor cast is not that bad and neither is the CGI, but the movie just lacks soul. It feels like the only thing the people making this film cared about is money and not entertainment.
By far the worst problem with this movie is the humor. And by "humor" I mean inserting as much meta-irony as possible wherever possible. Unfortunately to the authors, it just doesn't work for one simple reason - there's too fucking much of it. For the same reason, nostalgic elements (scenes with the footage from the original films) don't work either. Other than the humor, I suppose they could've added more action. The closing act of the movie, which is the only part that actually feels decent, contains quite some of it, but they could've actually put effort into the rest of the film too.
The ending of the movie isn't quite clear to me. Are they going to make a continuation? I hope not because they may fuck it up even more.
Twilight (2008)
Date: 2022-01-20
Wow, this movie is not that cringy. In fact, it's not cringe at all. Yeah, I didn't cringe once. It's so not cringy, that I'd rather staple my balls onto a wall than watch it again. Seriously, what the fuck? Why is it soooo boring? Like, couldn't they make a movie about something rather than nothing? Literally nothing happens in this film. It's like I'm watching people do things just for the sake of it. 99% of this movie contains no action and no interesting plot. It doesn't even feel like a film but rather a college project someone made with their spare money. I'd rather watch Neil Breen's entire cinematography, and I'm not kidding. At least Neil Breen's movies are weird, but this one isn't even cringeworthy for fuck's sake. Also Neil Breen's movies have some sort of shitty but plot that is different in each movie. Here, however, they shot 5 films about the same fucking thing, and the first movie already contains virtually no plot. How dumb am I supposed to be to watch this? Eat shit, you fucking film.
- Favorite character: Carlisle Cullen
Fireheart
Date: 2022-02-20
Don't get me wrong, this movie is not that bad. However, for me personally, it was unbearable to watch. It was so fucking cringy that I spent half of the time with my eyes closed, wishing that I can finally go home. The cringe was caused by basically everything. The characters were doing incredibly stupid things that were not even a bit funny, which was additionally flavored by the dysfunctional slow motion scenes and awkward emotional moments. The only part I could tolerate was the final action scene, but even it was cheesy as hell. Overall, I don't recommend watching this film. I know it's a movie for children, but unless your child is 5, even they probably won't like it too much.
American Psycho
Date: 2022-10-20
I have no fucking idea what I just watched, but it was something.
Oldboy (2003)
Date: 2023-11-09
My words can't describe how incredible this movie is. Saying that it made me feel something would be a great understatement - I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Whoever worked on it surely gave it their best because the story is an impressively unpredictable emotional trainwreck and the directing is hands down the best I've ever seen. I love how everything slowly unravels before your eyes and you discover both the backstory of the protagonist and the absolutely insane shit the villain came up with, which all happens in a way that doesn't feel forced or rushed. The camera work and the editing also play a huge role in this, making every scene leave a great impact like it's a brick wall that you get repeatedly hit with when you least expect it. I especially like that flashback scene where they used an old 35 mm film stock and lens to portray it. It's also quite remarkable how all scenes involving TVs or computers have real screens and real (or fake but highly believable) footage/software. I wish more movies did this. The score and the acting are also flawless, even in English dub which is the version I watched. The voice actors did a pretty damn impressive job, I must say.
Avatar: The Way of Water
Date: 2023-12-12
Well, shit. I love this. This was about as close as I could get to re-experiencing the original movie as a child back when it came out. Obviously, I'm not a child anymore so I couldn't quite turn off my brain, but I sure tried my best. Needless to say, they nailed what impressed me back then - it's a dumb fantasy movie that looks and sounds like an outstanding tech demo; the plot and the characters don't matter. Peak 2009.
Here are some of the things I liked:
- The code-switching moment in the beginning was truly genius. I'd prefer Na'vi not being dubbed in English, but yeah, I can see why they did it. The rest of the audience probably wouldn't like it. Either way, this moment is the perfect way to justify it.
- Spider, the human boy, always has that confused expression on his face like he's dying inside. I like him for this alone.
- The evil British dude is awesome. What's even more awesome is his death scene. Perfect combo.
- The underwater shots in the final battle are pretty cool. I especially like that scene where 2 guys drown in a submarine.
- They used fucking Papyrus for the subtitles, even though it's no longer in the logo. Thank you, you absolute mad lads.
Here are some of the things I didn't quite like:
- I can barely remember any of the other new characters that were introduced.
- Did the bad guys really not manage to do their job in an entire year? I don't know if that time skip was even necessary.
- Where the fuck is unobtanium, you bastards!!! Seriously though, that rugpull with changing the villain's motivation looks kinda silly to me. Although I'm not sure if it would've been better if they hadn't done that.
- I don't quite get the main character arc. So they ran away because they were scared, learned that running away is a bad thing, but still stuck with the new tribe and assimilated into it? Isn't that, like, the opposite of what they should've done? Maybe I'm just looking at it the wrong way.
- The sequel bait sucks. You should've just left it as a complete standalone story.
Overall, a great movie. The bad parts are only bad if you start thinking about what you're watching.
Die Hard
Date: 2023-12-29
Great action movie. The explosions punch hard. Would certainly rewatch.